Bloody Crafty

It Takes More than Just a Pretty Dress

I thought last night's presentation of the Emmy Awards was a pure delight.  I laughed out loud repeatedly and thought Jimmy Fallon did a great job (I'll take a roving guitar over boring montages any day).  The opening number was magical - Tina Fey and Jon Hamm can be on every show as far as I'm concerned. And I can't believe Kate Gosselin signed up for them to make fun of her - but I'm so glad she did. Hurley's appearance was an excellent addition as well. One question - who was the brunette girl in that number? If only Fallon had chosen Dancing in the Dark instead of Born to Run then (as Eric awesomely suggested) Courtney Cox could have jumped on stage. I loved that Modern Family killed it - best show on TV.  And yes, I like Glee, but Modern Family has better writing and better performances.  I loved that Cam won and that Mitchell cried through his entire speech. Edie Falco should win everything (after Meryl Streep of course).  I was glad Kyra Sedgwick finally won - but come on people - you're an actor, not an accountant - memorize your bloody speech!!!  Never ceases to piss me off.  Wait - did Jane Lynch have a list, too?  Boo. You are both better than lists.

All the musical pieces were enjoyable - even Jewel - and I usually don't like memorial things or super sad hole in my heart songs.  But she did a good job.  Tom Hanks should have sang along - "running out of wars" was funny.  I loved with Neil Patrick Harris called Jimmy gay. Good one NPH.  I think he should also win things more frequently.

Despite my deep and unending love for "My So Called Life", I'm so over Claire Danes. I think autism is a serious problem and I'm sure Temple Grandin did something remarkable and her story should be told, but it was really hard to watch all of that western wearing waving.  I got the feeling that those roles were like Helen Keller - of course you won. Where has Julia Ormond been btw?

I don't watch Breaking Bad but I trust it is awesome, and I think that supporting actor winner was on 90210 or something so you go boy.  And yeah for Mad Men - as much as I liked Lost -it wasn't well written or acted so it shouldn't win.  So done.

I actually think most people looked good last night - a lot of navy, black, white, hair down.  All in all kind of boring - no one appeared on the screen and took my breath away (except maybe the hot guy on Glee). I think the overall message was it actually takes more than a pretty dress to do this carpet/stage/camera thing.  Not every pretty dress is for the red carpet - Lea Michelle I'm talking to you.  ODLR is fantastic at all things - but big billowy dresses are just too much for these events.  If you can't walk, try something else.  At least you wore your hair down to minimize things a bit.  And Happy Birthday!  (Speaking of birthdays - that image above is the dress I would have worn - notice how its fashion forward and walkable. Stars - take note.) Also dresses that might work well at the party are not always good on the red carpet - Heidi Klum, you should totally know better. Way tooo short! (and it's not all jealousy - I swear).  And it wasn't short - but i have no idea what Lauren Graham was thinking - however, the Fug girls shot her shoes and they were gorgeous.

Some people keep doing it well - Julia Louis Dreyfus, Juliana Marguiles, Kyra Sedgwick, Emily Blunt.  Some people keep suffucating me with their assets - Christina Hendricks is lovely but I'm so sick of her "curves".  Kim Kardashian - I would put you in this category but that would require me to acknowledge your existence and I'm over it. And Claire Danes did look good - though I liked that Armani Prive better when Anne Hathaway wore it last year.  I really do NOT like Anna Paquin - she seems like such a bitch to me. And although I appreciate the homage to Alexander McQueen, that dress was ugly and heavy.  Tina Fey looked way better than usual. And Elizabeth Moss -although almost invisible in that champagne number was the best mad men girl (I refuse to put Jennifer Westfeld in that category). I love Sofia Vergara but that dress was a bit like a pageant to me. OH - I almost forgot - file under: thought i'd never say that:  how awesome did Kelly Osborne look?!?!  I mean really impressive.  She looks fantastic. And she changed into a white dress for the parties (which is an odd choice considering party fouls) and looked even better.  You go girl.

But who I'd really like to have a word with is January Jones. You are pissing me off. You think you are so awesome that you can just pick up some SNL bit player to be your boyfriend and throw on a wacky Versace (best description: cone madonna-esque top and a mullet hemline)?  Do you think the dress will blind us from your head thus just run a brush through those golden locks and call it a day?  Did your stylist forget the shoes?  Those black round-toe pumps surely did not come with the frock.  Those are straight out of wardrobe.  Despite me thinking that dress was still too big for the carpet - you could have been so much better!  Call me for the Globes.  Seriously.

See you and Ricky Gervais in January with our cocktails!

PS - I might do this for the VMAs now that Chelsea Handler is hosting - that could be funny.

Actually I am still Crafty

 I think it would be easy to believe that most of my loyal followers (in my head) assume that I've lost my craftiness out here in the land of beautiful views and horrible shoes.  But they would be wrong.

Sadly, as I try to work two jobs at the same place for no satisfaction or return on my time's investment, I just run out of time to share my craftiness with the world.  Currently I'm in the middle of helping to create a habitat diorama of a lizard four times the size of the tree scale. But the most accomplished thing to come out of the crafty abode on Cook Street is a the sensitive third grader's biography project - a paper bag puppet!  The nine year old is actually much more artistically inclined than moi so he did all the painting and costume design.  But as a former crocheter, yarn is my friend.  That curly red frock was a work of art - it made me wonder if doll hair making was an option - for it is clearly an undeveloped natural talent I possess. Can you guess who the subject matter is (as if it isn't obvious enough)?

Full of Muchness

At about 8:30 last night during a commercial break at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards, Eric brought to my attention that "only 18 more years until the 100th show."  After a moment of pondering, I decided that yes, that is true and I will be there and hopefully I will look half as good as Kathryn Bigelow at that time when I'll still be two years younger than she was last night when you told the boys club to SUCK IT - all with Barbara Streisand and her forty pounds of pearls on her arm.  Awesomeness.

I loved the show last night.  Not so much because there were any surprises outside of the best picture winner or because Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were that great (because both have been better) or because i was dazzled by the glamour (though there were some moments).  But instead I was blown away by the stage!  Adam Shankman did a splendid job entertaining my senses.  How awesome was the backdrop with all the lampshades!?!?!  That picture was the best lampshade I could find in my ten second search - but you've got to admit it's pretty awesome and totally looks like a dress that Kate Hudson would have worn if she would have been invited instead of stupid Miley F*cking Cyrus or depressing beyond belief Kristen Stewart.  And it wasn't just lampshades - there were bookshelves and all sorts of things back there.  Plus the seating of the stars up front was very intimate.  And of course there was the dancing.  Sigh.  First off - if every awards show from now until eternity is going to open with a Neil Patrick Harris song and dance number, the world is going to be a better place.  It was lovely to see all of our SYTYCD friends get their moment in the spotlight - especially during the score bit.  That League of Extraordinary Dancers are brilliant.  Thank you, Adam Shankman - I love you.

Also I love John Hughes - have since we first met in the early 80s.  That tribute was genius and sooo nice - I mean it's not like John Hughes won any Academy Awards.  But I loved every minute of it - except for that minute when Molly Ringwald came on stage and scared the shit out of me.  Holy hell - that was 10 kinds of wrong.  But then Judd Nelson came out and made her look a little better.  Holier hell - what went wrong there?  I wonder if that chain hanging from his borrowed-from-Kid N Play-suit was from some sort of "home".  He has not aged well.  But my children are very excited to see Ferris Bueller's Day Off now.  My entire childhood was shaped by John Hughes.  Very sad loss.

Hopefully next year's loss will be the public cries of affection for the best actor and actress nominees.  I wasn't a fan.  I would have preferred more interpretive dance - though it did afford us the opportunity to see Michelle Pfieffer which made me hum Grease 2 songs the rest of the night.

Martin and Baldwin had some moments - like when Steve Martin referenced that he and Precious both started their careers as poor black children.  My children didn't understand that but I promised them a Jerk viewing in their future.  And their closing was funny.  I just kept thinking - we really don't need BOTH of you.  But Tina Fey and Steve Carrell were better. The winners were nearly all expected.  I'm so over Christoph Waltz and his "storytelling without using the word thank you" to mean thank you.  It was charming three months ago - but now I'm over it.  I'm glad Mo'nique cut it short - I think Jeff Bridges could have taken her cue.  And Sandra Bullock was as charming as ever.  I haven't seen that movie and she's no Meryl Streep - but she is so likable.  You just want to hang out with her - so I was happy she won and her speech did not disappoint.  However, what was up with the guy who one for one of the documentaries with the singing disabled girl.  He ran down that aisle like it was The Price is Right and then out of nowhere a crazy woman in purple started speaking over him. Very odd and quite rude.  I'm going to guess there's more to that story than we will ever know and after the moment I ceased to care.  The pairing of SJP and Tom Ford was a slice of heaven.  Next year Colleen Atwood will win for Alice in Wonderland costumes which I had the delight of seeing on Saturday - though not the fairytale most of us will recall, I highly enjoyed it and the dresses were one of the many highlights.

The red carpet scene was pretty boring too - no craziness with the exception of Nicole Richie in that stupid "i like to be comfortable" sequined sack - but she's not even a star so it doesn't matter.  Although I will say that I don't recall stars waiting in line to talk to Ryan before - that was pretty awesome. And everyone must have been pretty well dressed if Charlize Theron falls into the "worst" column with her rosette-ed bosom.  Of course she wasn't alone - Elizaeth Banks should not wear pewter with that hair color nor should you wear the same dress as Demi Moore - ever.  Almost everyone will lose that battle.  There was a bit too much red on the red carpet - I'm not a fan of that. Also in general, red satin rarely is a good idea.  Penelope Cruz can handle it, almost every other nominee's wife/date can not.  Yes I'm-trying-to-be-Mrs.-George-Clooney, I'm talking to you. Those over the top Marchesa/Prive dresses seem a bit much for sitting for 12 hours - beautiful on the runway but just too much - see Vera Farmiga, J.Lo, Amanda Seyfried - and even you Zoe Saldana.  If Givenchy people would have cut those purple poof balls off the bottom, it would have been stunning - the top was gorgeous.  However, I'm still not convinced she's a real person. 

As for the best - it's kind of hard to pick. Anyone who is reading this knows my obsession with Sarah Jessica Parker goes on more than a Titanic's heart. I find it no coincidence whatsoever that I also picked a yellow frock to wear - though I went with Elie Saab (same collection as Anna Kendrick and Rachel McAdams - which in hindsight was probably not a strong idea) - but the point is SJP and I are very similar. There seemed to be a trend with updo's getting kind of messy on top - see J.Lo and SJP.  I'm okay with that - it's a decent excuse for my general messiness anyway.  So I thought Sandra Bullock actually picked her best dress for last - her whole look was incredible - and that is not an easy color to pull off.  Cameron Diaz who arguably had no business being there has NEVER looked better.  Rachel Zoe finally decided she probably needed to do Cameron's hair to make a pretty dress look pretty.  Nice job!  Kate Winslet really can do nothing wrong.  She was perfection - accessories and all.  I would have liked to wear Diane Kruger's Chanel to work today but she is nothing to me if she doesn't bring Pacey Whittaker with her to these things - and the dress wasn't that great on the carpet.  Meryl Streep looked lovely but white is a challenge for any occasion - I think she does black better but hooray for Chris March!

All in all it was a lovely evening - and I thank ABC for starting it early in my time zone.  Adam Shankman should definitely be considered again - as should Neil Patrick Harris.  The set designer will win an Emmy. Until then - go see Alice in Wonderland and I guess the Hurt Locker.

Cheers!

Imma Happy Drunk Too

You've got to love an awards show that goes ahead and schedules the extra 30 minutes in their telecast because they know they are going over. And really is three and a half hours really long enough to award six awards and mention 20 other lifetime achievement winners?  Apparently just barely.

I enjoy the Grammy's. It's like a big concert that you might never see - but last night I wasn't blown away like I've been in the past.  Maybe because people actually started arriving on the red carpet before Ryan even put on his shoes.  I'm so over Guiliana - I'm beginning to think that Joan Rivers would be better.  But I think the most humbling part of the red carpet was the realization that it's actually a good thing that I never got to attend one in my twenties (for the record - I'm totally ready now).  Did you notice that blond girl hovering behind Guiliana in the little black and lace Forever 21 dress? I don't know how she got there but I made fun of her all night until I realized that at 25 that would have been me, too, cell phone in hand calling everyone I've ever met to find me on E!  Though I think we all know that I would have secured a much better dress. The only other mystery on the red carpet was the costuming of MGMT and the entourage of Jamie Foxx. Note - I loathe all things Jamie Foxx.  Lady Gaga's orbital crotchtastic number seemed about right (I totally stole crotchtastic from the fug girls and I'm eternally grateful for I think it will come in very handy in the future).  Her handbag/wand as weapon was a bit much but made more sense when the whole look was re-imagined as Elton John's earring. Also - I don't want to hear from Pants on the Ground man again until he is picking someone's pants off the ground because based on Lil Wayne that message is not breaking through.

I actually think the show hit a high note at the very beginning.  Lady Gaga and Elton John in ashes and soot playing ghoulish graveyard pianos was fantastic and a much better nod to Thriller and MJ than that ridiculous 3D Earth thing.  Stephen Colbert has been better but I was mesmerized by the iPad. Does anyone know what that fourth Black Eyed Pea does? The one with all the body armor on the red carpet?  The one that is not Fergie or Will.I.am or Appl.d?  He does not appear to sing - maybe he's the awesome writer?  Mazel tov!  Whatever - their performance was a delight for my eight year old - for me it just invoked anger at Fergie's body as usual - though not so much for her metallic visor - or Will.i.am's (that's laborious to type) Hannibal Lector mask.  But I was mostly distracted by those speaker people dancer things - ridiculous.  OH - and what were the non-speaker dancers wearing around their heads?  It was like inflatable large intestines? Whose idea was that? Beyonce was amazing as usual. I don't know why she didn't wear that performance dress and shoes all night - it was by far her best look and she killed everything.  I love that song and always wondered why it wasn't more popular.  And the nod to Alanis was sweet - in a phat way, not a nice way. I'm pretty sure BK has never been wronged by a man but she sure makes a believer out of me. I think that was my favorite performance.

I don't need anyone to perform with Bon Jovi - I'm not even sure I need Bon Jovi to perform - mostly because that keyboardist guy with the ridiculous curly hair hurts my eyes.  I like Lady Antebellum a lot - but I never realized that song really only has four words - i, need, you, drunk.  However, it was pretty funny when the scrim (i might be making up that word) fell on her head. I would take that as a sign that it's time to ditch that messy ponytail look girlfriend.  I don't care for Zac Brown, his beard, his hat, his snow white guest performer or his band.  But they seemed nice and America is beautiful - at least my few from atop Breck on Saturday was. I love Stevie Nicks but I'm not sure I would have gone that route with Taylor Swift.  Taylor looked better performing than in that non-Grammy pretty dress.  It was pretty but wasn't Grammy enough for me.  See Rachel from Glee for direction (not all the time but last night).

The fact that Pink can take multi-tasking to a new level is impressive and commendable. I would NOT have thought as much if I was under her getting all wet.  But we've now seen the trapeze number a few times - stop flying, start dancing. I already mentioned that the Michael Jackson tribute was lame - I'd much rather see the tribute they did at the AMAs.  I mean I know he cared about the earth and all - but he also cared about awesome dancing. However, I will say that Jennifer Hudson and Celine Dion looked incredible.  Celine seems not to age at all - must be something in Canada.  And JHud is aging in the most awesome way. The crowd was hysterical in their paper glasses. 

I'm glad that Kings of Leon won - and they were pretty charming in their admitted drunkenness.  But most of all I just hope that now that the song has been anointed with gold that radio stations will bury it forever.

I'm not sure why Dave Matthews performed - I guess nominated for Album of the Year.  But it was really, really good.  They put on a great show.  Plus the random addition of the orchestra and choir was awesome. (Oh that reminds me of the Green Day performance with their musical cast - THAT was awesome!) Gwen told us this morning that the reason for those performers on wheels was a shout out to musical education in schools - it would have been more clear if they would have mentioned that. But one lucky schoolmate of the beautiful Claudia Adams was playing the trombone back there. And that's pretty awesome for a high school kid from Prairie Village, KS.

Mary J Blige and Andrea Boccelli are amazing. I don't really think I need to say anything more about that. Stevie Wonder also did that song quite a bit of justice at the Haiti relief concert last week. I think the final ruling is that Paul Simon is the best ever.

I bet that in the rap world that final performance was awesome - and hopefully tons better than stupid Jamie Foxx and his ADHD performance - that was a catastrophe. I can't believe Slash and Doug E Fresh agreed to be part of that. I digress.. back to that last number - I know Eminem is talented and word on the street is so are Drake and Lil Wayne - but if you can only hear every fifth word on television it might not be the best thing to include in a telecast. Also I refuse to support rich people not in some sort of disaster with their underpants hanging out of their drawers. It is ugly and ridiculous.

There are so many categories at the Grammy's that everyone wins - not on TV - but I'm pretty sure that everyone nominated wins something somewhere. So Lady Gaga did win - but it would have been nice to see her costumes move a bit more. And it would have been nice of Justin Timberlake and Matt Morris showed up to sing Hallelujah again. Or maybe the Dixie Chicks could come out of hiding. Alas - maybe next year.

I'll be heading to bed early tonight for that early morning call from the other Academy - also to see if that varmit sees his shadow - not that winter in Colorado matters.

Rock on!

I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up

I know I'm a total week late - I was very busy making calculated efforts to change my career last week.  It totally got in the way of me commenting on everything that happened last weekend. Before Drew Barrymore wore another questionable frock, Justin Timberlake demanded I swoon, Wyclef responded with joy instead of despair, Jay-Z sidelined Bono and Madonna hopefully reminded herself that good songs performed with a choir are more important than cheek implants.  I loved the Hope for Haiti Now benefit and resisted the urge to call and ask inappropriate questions of anyone on the celebrity panel.

After that I was ready to perform on queue to the wandering camera at the Screen Actors Guild Awards. "I critique awards show performances, appearances and costumes and love every minute - also I still miss Dawson's Creek, The OC, Felicity and My So Called Life.  I'm Melanie Taylor, and I'm not an actor!" That show is pretty boring despite the star power and the full casts of everything nominated except Brad Pitt. I don't even remember who won except Glee and the cast of Inglorious Bastards and Kevin Bacon which I really liked seeing - again.  Sandra Bullock won but then she started making out with her husband from the stage and it became uncomfortable.  Fashion wise - I wasn't really blown away by anyone - Marion Cotillard might have been who I most wanted to be - well after Diane Kruger (natch). But for the most part I spent the whole night wanting to be Helen Mirren.  I think if anyone is going to allow me to embrace my aging it will be the Queen.  How awesome did she look?  It's amazing.  Meryl Streep also look well supported.  And the night totally belonged to Betty White.  Her dress was questionable - but her career and speech were extraordinary.  I was highly impressed.

And then the Colts won on Sunday and are Superbowl bound and the couture shows started in Paris. President Obama gave his first State of the Union and hopefully set the stage for way more Executive Orders. There is just way too much to comment on (though I typically find time for quick comments on Twitter if you want to find me there @melaniegt). I am ready to be entertained this week - tonight's Grammy telecast (less the continued exploitation of Michael Jackson's children and 3D images), the return of Lost and Sheer Genius (joking, sort of), and of course the Oscar nominations.

Under my Umbrella, Ella, Ella

I have no one to thank either – especially the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for teasing me into believing I was going to spend the night with Ricky Gervais when I really only got like 12.43 minutes with him. Rude.  Though those moments were good – especially the Mel Gibson one.

The red carpet was hard to read with all the umbrellas – but for once in my life I was not dying to be there. I mean can you imagine working your whole life dreaming of that moment being covered in rain and umbrellas and aquanet?  I’d die - and likely fall down or get assaulted by an umbrella. So, thankfully, I saved my breakout performance for THIS year – I mean it can’t rain two years in a row.  I will say that Guiliana was really getting on my nerves – in her futuristic aluminum foil dress. Oh but one awesome thing was it sounded like Neil Patrick Harris is going to be a guest judge on American Idol. Now that’s something to be excited about.

As for the show – it was nice (though predicted) that Monique won. I haven’t seen that movie but I trust she was good and her speech seemed a bit planned but was heartfelt enough for me. Same goes for Toni Collette.  I’m sure that show is good – it won an Emmy too. Her dress was a bit distracting to me – but I have no complaints. And I agree that animation is excellent for add-ults on drugs. Hooray for Juliana Marguiles. I could have lived without seeing Cher or Christina Aquilera – but the man who scored Up was delightful. Good friends and family indeed. Also, is it me, or do men seem to navigate a route to the stage considerably faster than women? I suppose it could be a costuming issue but still – women seem to get lost more often – which way do I go? Yeah for Kevin Bacon – finally Kyra gets to cheer for him instead of the other way around. And hooray for Michael C. Hall – may he recover soon.  He’s a tremendous actor and I don’t even watch that show. Actually we all know who won best speech – Meryl Streep is allowed to talk forever whenever she wants even if she rambles for 10 minutes – she’s beyond lovely. Robert Downey, Jr. was also delightful and earned his win with that speech. I can take Drew Barrymore – she’s just nice. Kind of in the same way I can NOT take Chloe Sevigny – although I love Big Love and she is awesome in that horrible character – she just seems so insincere – even the comment about the dress ripping – she just bugs me. I’m not a huge Mad Men fan mainly because I hate watching things I can’t have – like their entire wardrobe department. But I hear Jon Hamm is good – too bad I’m so bitter because I actually went to college with him and none of my friends nor I ever met him. Sandra Bullock was very nice (and didn’t even seem that scared of Mickey Rourke’s hat or her see through dress in the lights). Jeff Bridges makes me think that the HFPA loves the old guy. I mean I bet it took a lot of convincing to NOT let George Clooney up on that stage. Martin Scorsese was delightful – as were Robert DeNiro (less the pervy jokes) and Leonardo. I am quite impressed with his passion and historical knowledge. I’d bet you $50 that James Cameron couldn’t do that. I know Avatar is supposedly awesome and revolutionary – but I’m not moved to even go see it. However, listening to Arnold Schwarzenegger mispronounce it was kind of fun. Hooray for Glee! Quite awesome that The Hangover won. It made everyone laugh the most last year.

As did Mariah Carey’s endless snafus. It’s not just her neckline – Anna Paquin (who also comes across as such a biotch) wore the same exact proportion on her Stella McCartney dress that I actually liked – and she did NOT look like a porn star.  Or Halle Berry who continues to blind me with her beauty – I mean seriously who did NOT gasp when she walked on the stage?  I need Mariah Carey to go play with butterflies or something and get OFF my TV  - and she can take her Nick Cannon, too.  There were a lot of dresses that I loved when I saw snippets and then full length pictures made me reconsider.  Like Marion Cotillard was stunning talking to Ryan – the Chris-ti-an Dior (she could NOT be more delightful) – looked amazing.  But then when you saw the lace part stick out of the leg slit – it looked like pretty Spanx and became very distracting.  Anna Kedrick’s Marchesa was fantastic – but she’s 4’11” – you can’t wear that. Same goes for you, too, Rachel from Glee – I know it would be hard for me to resist the magnetic pull of an Oscar de la Renta ball gown given the opportunity – but you are too tiny for that dress – it is reserved for supermodels. In fact, all the black strapless was starting to bore the crap out of me.  I’m not sure that’s a good excuse for fuchsia, Lauren Graham or Diane Kruger. Though I kind of liked Kruger’s Chanel despite it looking like a giant bottle of Pepto Bismol. I might just really like her – and her arm candy was better, too. I can’t resist Pacey Witter, but back to color. Sandra Bullock’s Bottega Vennetta looked great on the runway – in fact People.com had this fun game where you guessed what people would wear – some of their selections were way better than the actual outcome – and they picked that dress for someone else. But the see through parts made it look like colored cellophane which made it start to fail. I’m biased to simple, well tailored folding material and proportion – so I loved Kate Hudson’s dress despite it just being a slightly updated version of Eva Mendes dress last year – which means TRZ [Rachel Zoe for you non-fans] loves that look – which she should considering wearing on occasion – also a protein shake would do her good. It’s hard to not mention the sea urchins on Drew Barrymore’s shoulder and hip – too bad. And Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet’s navy/blue-ish one shoulder columns were stunning as was Julianna Marguiles’ Rodriguez – not thrilling but pretty. Winslet gets extra points for having to basically make out with Jeff Bridges, too. I think Patricia Arquette and Jessica Lange had the same broken mirror and chose the same rumpled grey velour number – yuck. I wasn’t crazy about Heidi Klum’s grayish lavender either.  And I really love Julie Roberts – I really do – but it looked like she threw on a DVF and shook out her wet head and headed out the door. I know it was YSL vintage or something of an excuse but please stop resisting the fact that you are a bloody movie star!  The older women (less Jessica Lange) did it quite well last night – Helen Mirren and Sophia Loren and Meryl Streep all looked lovely and reminded us that supportive undergarments CAN make a difference and should be used to great effect.  How much would you hate life if you were Julie Bowen and had to go work on the greatest show with Sofia Vergara? She also hurts my eyes she's so gorgeous. At first I hated the color of her Herrera but as the night went on (and the Proseco dried up) it started to grow on me – even with the giant bow.  Oh – who I am kidding? I LOVE a giant bow (just ask Angie to reference my senior year high school homecoming dress that I borrowed from Amy Berkley – pink bows on the dress, in my hair and even hot glued to my black pumps). I also really wanted to love Christina Hendricks dress – mainly because it was made by Christian Siriano – but I kind of hated all of it – and yes I mean her boobs. As for Jennifer Garner – she may have never looked so good and by good I mean skinny – but I refuse to acknowledge her publicly without Ben. Finally, I have a message for Nate Archibald – a message that I’m nearly positive that Blair has already conveyed – simply, stop f*cking with your hair.  Put the gel down now. Also shave – in fact – EVERYONE shave – Ricky Gervais, George Clooney, Jon Hamm, Robert Downey, Jr, William H Macy, and William Hurt who needs to take a week to shave. 

So I guess I have to pick a favorite – if I could be anyone in the room I would pick Halle Berry. If I could wear any dress tomorrow, I pick January Jones.

And to end on more serious note – I’m not sure who decided ribbon wearing was the best way to show you care about someone other than yourself, because it is stupid. But it’s nice that several celebrities have donated money to help the nightmare that is Haiti right now. I look forward to George Clooney’s friendfest on Friday night and I will continue to donate as I continue to get paid. The company I work fo has an office in Miami so it hits closer to home. They have been very generous to match and then match again any donation – so I just keep donating. I’m sure when Bruce Springsteen sings a sad song I’ll give again.  And you should, too.  Dresses and movies and art make the world more enjoyable at times – but people and their amazing spirit make it worth being part of.

Cheers until the Oscar nominations –

Melanie

When Work Gets in the Way

So it appears that I have royally sucked at keeping this up to date.  I'll be surprised if anyone even remembers this exists - but now that it's the awards season - like they say on Super Mario Bros "I'm-a-back".

My only excuse is that my department is horribly staffed. I guess since the Emmy's I've been working an average of 60+ hours per week. It's hard when you work at a good place but not doing what you should be doing nor what you like to do.  Not to mention the more important things like a very patient husband and two endlessly forgiving children - and the best group of girlfriends who keep me going every day via email. The result means average Twitter and Facebook updates and little to no thoughtful (or less) blogging.

So with the Proseco chilling and the football playing, I thought I'd offer up my predictions for tonight's Golden Globes ceremony. First off - Ricky Gervais will KILL! I can usually count on the Hollywood Foreign Press awarding their friends and those that give the best speeches - so I predict George Clooney and Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock, Robert Downey Jr, and hopefully Neil Patrick Harris and Jane Lynch will win.  My biggest toss up is Glee or Modern Family - both have everything the HFPA worships. I also think someone could knock off Tina Fey - just for novelty because seriously - who's better?

I just can't wait to see what everyone wears - putting all these people in one room is only rivaled by the Costume Institute Ball. Julianne Moore should prove as beautiful as she looked in The Single Man (at least the trailer which I saw).  Can't wait!

First, I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press and Moet!  Cheers!

A Nailbiter Indeed - the official review of the 2009 Emmy Awards

I'm sorry for the delay.  I'm also sorry for screwing up Serena's big giant braid.  We were drinking all day and I get all excited and nervous when given the opportunity to ruin the best head of hair on the planet.  Her body still killed that dress - so no harm done.

Needless to say I loved the 2009 Emmy broadcast Sunday night - I mean it took me two days to recover from all the singing and dancing to even write this.  Neil Patrick Harris was heavenly and I usually hate white tuxedo coats.  Have you ever seen so many winners stop to literally give a live shout out to the host before thanking their losing fellow nominees?  No you haven't, it's never happened.  I thought the song and dance was lovely, I thought the roaming camera was the best part catching the stars off guard.  His jokes were mostly funny - and if they weren't he laughed at himself. I thought the bit over the accountants was brilliant - and he's right the Internet is far from perfect.  He kept the show moving along at a quick pace - it was nice and enjoyable. And how awesome was John Hodgman!?!?  Like when The Daily Show won (woot!) (does anyone ever say that word is real life?), and he said, "This is their 900th Emmy win and frankly, that's too much." Ha!  Nice job, Hodgman.

One big question that bothered me all night: What the hell was Little Dorrit?  I could google it - but if it was on television, I should already know about it.  It's not often that something slips by me on TV. And then it won things.  How does that happen?

Ricky Gervais could stand on stage and talk all night if it were up to me.  He's so awesome (however, that was no excuse for that tuxedo).  In this room, I'm above average, too.  Thank you, Mr. Gervais. For everything - including the British Office Christmas Special.

The winners were fine. Ken Howard and the kidney nod were touching. Kristen Chenowith wanting to be on Mad Men was funny. Tina Fey thanking NBC for not kicking them off for Jay Leno was awesome. The Mad Men writer noting that writing isn't fun was fun. Other than that, the presenters were better. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and Amy Pohler were genius - as expected.  But recognizing the demise of network television when you're ON network television is pretty funny.  Justin Timberlake is a dream - no matter what he's doing. Serena and Blair were a vision together - no matter how young they appeared. And Stephen Moyer with the original hot vampire, Angel from Buffy, just made him even less believable.

Hooray for repeat winners and the strength of cable television - now onto the important stuff - like every stylist on both coasts getting the memo to wear Red, White or Black and a few deviant ones choosing blue or gold. I was blinded by my Gossip Girls (and yes, the Bottega Venetta that Blair wore wasn't her best choice - but her in white with the red lips and the pretty up hair was stunning - and I know that Serena's Versace was just like the one she wore the Costume Institute Gala - but she wears that well and jealousy isn't becoming so shut up) but other than that I was kind of lukewarm to everything. Sandra Oh did gold best. January Jones was fantastic in the white Versace. Kyra Sedgwick looks great in a little color which she rarely wears - her body is stupid - and she knows it - just like JLD (who was fine but not perfection as she has been before). No one wore some of the beautiful gowns that I've seen on runways - and who the hell is Basil Soto? No thanks.  Other than that it was kind of boring and safe. Drew, Mariska, Tara, Kristin, Debra, Holly Hunter, Jennifer Morrison - all fine. But bad was done well, too. Where to start? Maybe Jon Cryer's stupid vest. Take you and your stupid show back to 1986 where Duckie belongs! Jane Krakowski - what the hell was that?  To the Irish woman in red who won for the mysterious Little Dorrit: there's this thing called Spanx, you should invest.  Mila Kunis's tulle explosion was ruined further by her stupid bulky shoes.  It hurt me.  Tracy Pollan's green dress was a disaster to the nth degree - I feel bad for her husband's disease, but that's not a great excuse for choosing the last dress on the rack at David's Bridal. Hey, Sarah Silverman, as a general rule you don't want your dress to be funnier than you. Jamie Lynn-Siegler you are not in New Jersey any more. I hate Kate Walsh. Almost as much as I hated that woman with Alec Baldwin and the live furry animal living in her hair. Vanessa Williams needs to first participate with the funny girls - that's how you get in the club - and THEN she needs to stop wearing satin like that.  Kristen Wiig - hahahaha. No, wait, witchy is for Halloween. Did you see Marcia Gay Harden?  If not, don't try.

Neil Patrick Harris consider yourself hired for the Academy Awards - no one will want to follow you and you're way better than Hugh Jackman. But come back to Emmy again next year. Please!

I Bought Jeans (and did not slit my wrists in the process)

Most people know that jeans aren't really my bag.  Not that there's anything wrong with them, but I prefer dresses and more tailored clothes.  Plus the fashion world has really made them trashy in the past few years - too low, too tight, too much information. So I have to buy a pair once every two years - just to put the old ones in a "throw on in a hurry" section of the closet.  However, I hate the way I look in jeans so it's a challenge.  But it was my birthday and I had some money and every store and magazine under the sun is trying to sell me jeans.

First stop - J.Crew. My last pair were JCrew matchstick jeans and I like them - but they are NOT comfortable, they are stylish.  Let's just say that it didn't work out.  Next stop The Gap - actually truth be told I started at The Gap (it's a new client I felt I had to go).  They swear their jeans FIT which is totally subjective - but whatever.  I don't buy a lot of stuff at the Gap so it's hard to know if they a run small or large.  With sunglasses firmly disguising my identity, I grabbed three styles, two sizes each.  I hurried to the dressing room before I lost my nerve. I started with the Real and Straight in the larger size... TOO BIG! Awesome, my confidence was growing.  So I tried the style in the smaller size and it was like a glove - with a little stretch. I didn't hate them.  In fact, they were soft and they were long enough and I almost liked them.

I tried the Curvy and the Long and Lean (a style I bought four years ago - two pairs ago) - but the first ones were perfect.  SOLD!  They're still in the bag where they'll likely be for a while.  It's one thing to buy them but wear them? That's going to take an event or situation.  A cool fall breeze might do it.

Customer Service: A True Story

Last night I had the most pleasant run in with semi-fast food EVER - I just had to share. 

There's a new Tokyo Joe's on Colorado Blvd close to our house (for those of you who don't live in Denver - I'm very sorry - it's like quality fast food sushi - and it's awesome) that brings Eric and I great joy.  Last night I went to grab dinner when the boys were at soccer practice - my first time at this location - and for starters it's really lovely.  It feels nicer than most fancy Japanese restaurants with an outdoor patio and huge fire pit to boot.

Anyhoo - their computer systems were down when I arrived which affects ordering and paying. A very kind man apologized and took my order on paper. He said we'd wait to pay. All the while a pleasant woman who was NOT freaking out was on the phone with IT reading screen prompts - I couldn't help but think I would be handling this differently (such as freaking out). So my food was finished and the nice man said, "here you go." I asked about payment and offered to go look in my bag for cash, and he politely said with a smile, "Don't worry about it - this one's on us."  Seriously?  You mean this isn't McDonald's when the system goes down - so do I???  Awesome!  I promised to come back and pay in full when the system was up - and I completely intend to.

In our fast moving world where no one is accountable and most of those who are there "to help" are completely powerless, a service provider or company's problems often are pushed upon the consumer. Here was a brilliant example of Tokyo Joe's taking full responsibility for their unfortunate problem. They could have said "sorry" and closed the doors - but instead they made all the customers happy and more importantly turned a "i'm never coming here again" response into "I'll be the best customer ever!"

Thanks Tokyo Joe's!